October 17th, 2014

This is a first-hand account of what when on in /r/Games from August 23rd and onward from the eyes of one of its moderators.

Since the last post went up quite a few things have happened. As expected some people got very angry at me, and as expected they’ve lashed out in every way possible. See the edit below. Anyway, this post will detail the events of August 23rd and onward. It hopefully won’t be as long as Part 1. For the first half we’ll be going mostly on IRC logs, but I will have to switch after a while for reasons that will become obvious. I recommend having the first article in your mind when reading this one as information reappears from there.

Since I’ve taken my sweet time in writing this, there may or may not be a Part 3. I’m really not certain. Let’s hope there’s no need.

As usual usernames will be shortened to the first letter or first few letters. I take no responsibility if you decide to go to the mod list and find out who’s who.


Edit: Due to a series of real world problems, including but not limited to the potential loss of employment due to semi-anonymous complaints made to my employer regarding personal opinions and affiliations of mine that are provably untrue, I haven’t had any time to work on this and I doubt I’ll be getting any time soon. In the event I do not end up losing my job for expressing my opinions on gaming and defending myself from slander, I will create a part 3 to this series of posts talking about what happened after these events. If I do end up getting fired then a very different post will appear here. You’ll know it when you see it. If you have any questions for me, ask me on twitter @XavierMendel or check this site’s “About” page to find other contact methods.

August 23rd started at 5:42 AM when I came on IRC. InternetAristocrat had put out a new video talking about more connections between various people. I asked N if he saw the video, and he replied that he had tried to and had gotten 5 minutes in. I stated that I thought the connections seemed pretty strong and that a lot of new evidence was gone over. N stated: “I got to the point where he started spouting false information and closed it.” This was regarding something about Cloudflare. I stated that I mostly cared about the journalist bits and that everything else was irrelevant (not really our job). He replied with: “If some of it is wrong, all of it is suspect. It shows he hasn’t done good research.” I replied with: “Yes, but if some of it is right then all of it is worth investigating. And some of it’s right. In fact since he’s mostly just talking about other people’s statements and whatnot, most of it’s right.” N then said that there were two possibilities: that either InternetAristocrat doesn’t do good research or that he’s intentionally misrepresenting the truth. This begins an argument.

I replied to him with: “I’m sorry to come out and say this but I really don’t trust your judgement on this. Ever since the beginning you’ve shown blind bias.” His first response was “No.” N then said that “My only bias is towards making sure each end of the argument is represented.” I replied with “You’ve been removing, banning, and reporting tons of people” and quoted him on times that he brought up banning entire threads full of people, making sure to note his ongoing count of people he got shadowbanned. He said “I haven’t banned anyone.”, that “They broke reddit’s rules.” I told him that we should think before we act, and that banning everyone blindly isn’t the answer. I then said: “You say you want both sides of the argument represented, but I don’t see that. Since the beginning you fought me when I wanted to give them a space to talk about it. That’s not equal representation.” He spammed “So we should stop enforcing reddit’s site wide rules, then?” a few times. I made him angrier when I answered with “We should enforce them logically, not shotgunning entire threads to inflate your ban total.” I told him to go watch the video and he apparently did.

I started making some plans. At the time everything was pretty simple and I’d come up with an idea to end the accusations against /r/Games while simultaneously making us look good. I started writing the thread to post later. This is when stuff went from bad to worse. N had been reading /pol/ and /v/ quite a lot for the past few days and then wasn’t an exception. At 7:51 AM he shared a picture of a PM he got talking about a link between him and Zoe Quinn. Someone had posted the mod log picture (remember that from part 1?) on /pol/ and they’d begun to target him. The picture was originally posted in #Games, a public IRC channel for /r/Games that we’d known for a while was being idled by 4chan users. A few minutes later, on the same /pol/ thread, I noticed a user claiming to have spoken to a mod and obtained information, though it wasn’t clear of which sub (either ours or /r/Gaming). They particularly were mad at N and F. I told N that I’d handle it and try to figure out what’s what. I mentioned trying to figure out where they got the info from, to which N’s first response was that it wasn’t him. I didn’t really care since I didn’t suspect that anyone on the team would’ve done it anyway.

We talked about information in the leak. I mentioned that they only seemed to know half of the story, like whoever was giving them information didn’t have all the facts. This is why I initially suspected an IRC op or perhaps the only non-mod who had access to the room, No. I kept looking around for answers until 9:00 AM. N posted one of the pics from the leak and claimed that it was me in them. His proof of this was that the mod log picture, which was shared publicly in #Games and then on 4chan, was the same picture that I took. We had just been discussing this an hour previously of course, but he didn’t seem to care. I mentioned that regardless of who did it or why since N was so vehemently naming me in it that I would temporarily stop being the PR person until it was resolved. I don’t like being accused of things and he knows that. I tend to just shut up when confronted with that sort of stuff. I figured if I shut up and tried to figure out who did it everything would be fine. It wasn’t.

At 9:26 AM, Fo joined the chat. We talked a bit about the leak and I was very upfront about N’s accusations against me. I suggested possible routes of determining who had done it, chief of which was asking the guy behind it. I decided to ask the question: “Who benefits?” When something happens you should always ask who benefits from the action. I asked that question and nobody was able to provide an answer. I’ve been asking that question ever since and I’ve yet to get an answer from any of them. I do have my answer now, though I had to provide it myself and could only do so when my head was at its clearest. I thought about it being a snoonet operator again. Some of them are mods of ShitRedditSays and really don’t like us (especially me) so I thought it was a possibility. None of us could figure out what possible gain there was for anyone to do it. We went through what users were here at the time but that was pointless. Almost every single person with access was in the room.

They asked about the images, the Dac image, the modlog implicating N, and the PM with Zoe. I admitted earlier to that fuckup but gave a full overview of how it happened for anyone who wasn’t there at the time. The situation showed that the images were taken without any involvement by me but I accepted the responsibility of it anyway because it was still technically my fault for creating the images in the first place. The others understood this and seemed to come to an agreement that it wasn’t me at least. Nalixor didn’t seem to agree. I talked about how I didn’t believe any mod did it and instead narrowed my search down to one particular IRC op, a ShitRedditSays mod who has had a lot of severe disagreements with us in the past. We talked about how tired we all were and I mentioned I just wanted to watch Godzilla (2014 version, watched it since, good movie) and eat something.

Nothing happened until 7:35 PM that night. Two comments were made in /r/Gaming that compiled information on what was deleted from /r/Games, along with pointing out names of those that had deleted threads. The comments have since been deleted. We briefly discussed making a statement but N and No were against it (though No isn’t a mod he has full access to the private IRC). Fo joined in at 8:35 PM after information of the leak had spread to the main #Games IRC. They talked about ways to get rid of the drama, everything from saying the leak is a fake to ignoring it. No weighed in with “don’t say it’s “fake”, it obviously is real information, disregarding the source”, which goes against what was said later. At 9:00 and beyond we started talking more about the leak. N asked a snoonet op, MF, about whether or not a snoonet op had spied in the room. He said they hadn’t. Thus it must’ve been one of us. Pi had stated somewhere that Zoe Quinn hadn’t messaged any of the /r/Games mods, but I replied that she did and that she had directly messaged him and I. He acknowledged this, which goes against what he said later. Pi briefly talked about discussing the situation with a private user while Del talked about Vivian James. Zoe Quinn started privately messaging N, but I didn’t get many details on that. Pi got back from talking to the user, saying that he could show that the leak didn’t come from an /r/Games mod. This goes against what he said later. Little else happened on August 23rd, so here’s going into August 24th. Today’s the day that shit went down.

Just after midnight, Pro joined in (he had been mostly absent through a lot of the drama). His first question was about No, a former mod who still idled in the mod IRC, and whether he was on break or something. Everyone else was asleep, except for D and N. Pro eventually left very early, leaving those two. Throughout about 5 AM, N and D talked about removing various content regarding The Fine Young Capitalists and discussed the hack of their tumblr. I was still sleeping at the time, immediately after that talk, when this happened:

Aug 24 06:29:07 -ModAboose/#Games-mods-    D set flags -AORVefiorstv on xavier.
Aug 24 06:29:07 *    ModAboose removes channel operator status from XavierMendel
Aug 24 06:29:36 *    ModAboose sets ban on *!*@user/Xavier
Aug 24 06:29:51 *    You have been kicked from #Games-mods by ModAboose ((D) No reason given)
**** ENDING LOGGING AT Sun Aug 24 06:29:51 2014

Aug 24 06:31:59     !flags XavierMendel -*
Aug 24 06:31:59 -ModAboose/#games-    N set flags -AHORVefhiorstv on xavier.
Aug 24 06:31:59 *    ModAboose removes channel operator status from XavierMendel
Aug 24 06:32:39     !kickban XavierMendel
Aug 24 06:32:39 *    ModAboose sets ban on *!*@user/Xavier
Aug 24 06:32:39 *    You have been kicked from #games by ModAboose ((N) No reason given)
**** ENDING LOGGING AT Sun Aug 24 06:32:39 2014

I didn’t notice until three hours later when I woke up. When I found out I was devastated. /r/Games had been my baby for nearly two years. I’d spent countless hours, late nights, dedicated weeks sitting in queues, replying to comments and messages, trying to get AMAs scheduled, writing guides and FAQs and wiki pages, and generally just improving the community. Where others were content to delete and ban and be done, I was doing all I could to make it the best gaming discussion board on the internet. That was my goal. I wanted it to be the best because I thought people deserved that, and I truly believed that I could make that happen. Even though that goal caused a lot of friction with other mods due to my silly ideas like transparency and accountability, I kept at it. One night, while I slept, it was all gone through the actions of one angry man. I’m not ashamed to say that I got depressed over this, or at least more so than usual. It’s difficult to explain to those living without depression, but even the smallest things can break you after such a long time.

It didn’t take long for that depression to be used as a weapon. Like I said I’m a big fan of transparency, so I had no problems talking about myself to those that asked. The other mods know everything about me, from who I am to where I live to who I work for to the names of my family. They know about my depression (and other assorted problems), they know what really gets to me, and they know how to exploit that. I put up my statement explaining my side of the story at about 10 AM and at 1:30 PM the exploitation started rolling in. I’m still not entirely comfortable reading it. Just going through all these PMs to get a timeline is pretty rough. I don’t have many people who I’d call friends, and those that I do have I care a lot about. Reading these messages is like losing those friends all over again.

I talked to Ph from 1PM to 2PM, which mostly consisted of asking him what I could do to prove that it wasn’t me. He demanded proof that I didn’t leak it, and proof of someone else having done so. This is obviously impossible for two reasons: (1) being that it’s impossible to prove that something didn’t happen and (2) because it’s impossible (or at least extremely difficult) to prove that someone else did it. I’d spent the last day or so trying to do that and got nowhere, so pulling this out of my ass just wasn’t going to happen. The conversation ended at 2PM when he told me not to come back.

At 3:30 PM I was told I’d been reported by the /r/Games mods to the snoonet ops for ban evasion, which is grounds for banning from the network. I mentioned that I’d woken up and logged in from a different client to find out what happened, which was enough for them to let me off with a warning despite the mods insisting I be banned. I heard from a few different snoonet ops that some of them really wanted me banned, some of them didn’t, and there may have been an argument over it. I’m not surprised, as at least one snoonet op has hated me for a long time (maybe it’s because they’re an SRS mod, who knows) and a couple others are friends/co-mods with Ph, who is himself a former op.

At 4:46 PM I made my first public reddit comment about it in /r/Drama, which became a battleground. The /r/Games mods had already been spreading shit since before I woke up, so I decided to start defending myself. The problem is, each time I make any move to clear my name they take it as a huge threat. I’m not so important that the army must be called each time I open my mouth, though it’s flattering that they feel the need to rally the troops every time I say a word. Truth fears no questions, so I don’t mind answering whatever people ask of me. They had some problems with it. Thus, the thread became a pointless argument where questions would be asked, I’d answer, ask some of mine, then get insults and anger back. Which is to be expected, but it still feels like I wasted a lot of time. For a good listing of everything I said, read back through my userpage. You’re gonna need to click a lot of “context” links. Sorry. Also you may find some crude humor and unrelated comments. Sorry again.

Very little else happened on the 24th besides what you see there. Lots of people got banned from various subreddits. One of the /r/Games mods, N, had a meltdown in #Games (the public IRC). He was angry that /r/Drama wasn’t agreeing with him and was pointing out holes in his arguments. Apparently some people got banned for asking questions in the channel, but I wasn’t around for that and only got that talk from another IRC regular. Him along with two users, who I’ll refer to as Ka and Iz, went off on a rant about how I must hate women and drove all the women away from /r/Games. Nearly every other user in the IRC had a problem with this thought (ignoring my efforts to increase gender diversity in the sub by organizing AMAs with female devs and industry veterans) and got banned. Such is life in /r/Games.

On the 25th, at 2AM, I was told that D (the admin) must be right about me because he can see my PMs which must prove it. I responded to this like any transparent person would: I posted my own inbox. Everything leading up to my ban is included. This was entirely ignored by the /r/Games mods as they continued to say that my inbox must certainly be incriminating. I don’t do anything shady so posting this information isn’t really a big deal for me. There’s nothing in there that incriminates me in anything they claim I did, so overwhelming transparency only helps. At least, it’d help if they acknowledged it.

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September 12th, 2014

This is a first-hand account of what went on in /r/Games between August 18th and August 22nd from the eyes of a moderator. It includes censorship, lies, insults, and much more.

This is going to be very, very long at the rate I’m currently writing. However it will also be the single most in-depth telling of what happened on /r/Games that’s currently out there. Since as of this writing I’m mostly going off of the IRC logs for simplicity there’s gonna be stuff I’ve left out. Feel free to let me know what I missed and I’ll add it in. I’m much better at answering questions than I am at coming up with information out of nowhere, so please ask if you’re curious. I can’t bear to leave anything out since any gap is going to have conspiracy theorists hounding me on them, so consider this your length warning.  This takes place between August 18th to August 24th, and is essentially a play-by-play of our IRC for the most of it.

Update: After a week of writing and over 5,000 words in this post I’ve decided to just put this into two pieces. August 18th to August 22nd will be in Part 1, and August 23rd and up will be in Part 2. I doubt anyone will even read all of this so doubling the length would only make it impossible to get through. Sorry, but I’m a terrible writer and take too much time to get to the point.

The comments section is entirely open so feel free to leave questions for me to reply to.tot

Notice: Usernames of mods and admins will be shortened to the first letter or, when necessary, the first few letters. It won’t make a difference to those involved in the situation but for now I’d rather not have people claiming that I’m inciting a witch hunt against these people (though I’m sure it’ll happen anyway). My main priority is to get my story down so that I have something to link to the many curious people out there who’ve asked.

It’s been a hectic few weeks for the gaming community and the internet in general. Three weeks ago, on August 16th, a blog came up detailing the actions of indie game developer Zoe Quinn, which included affairs with journalists, corruption, nepotism, and a bunch of other stuff that’s not as important. Since then everything has gone to shit. We’re on Week 4 of what people are calling “GamerGate” and the end is nowhere in sight. Before that though, let’s back up a few weeks.

For some backstory, I was a moderator of reddit’s /r/Games community. I had been a moderator there for nearly two years and in that time had taken up a variety of roles that needed filling. Primarily, I was the public relations guy. I talked to developers, youtubers, journalists, and whoever else for various things. I explained rules, set up AMAs, and had a merry time of it. Not to mention that it was always me who wrote the big official posts and did most of the interaction with the community. I wanted to make /r/Games the greatest gaming discussion place on the internet and tried my best to achieve that goal, even at great personal cost. When drama came up I handled it as best I could, but primarily I handled it the way it should be handled for the community, not handling it just to cover asses. So when “TheZoePost” appeared on WordPress and took the community by surprise, I knew I’d be handling that too. Here’s what happened as best I remember it. I’m writing most of this post without any references, just this New Post page and my music. I apologize if I get something wrong chronologically, but I tend to do that. Let me know if I made a mistake. Here goes.

Late at night, or perhaps early in the morning, TheZoePost got submitted to /r/Games a day after it was first put up. Originally it stayed up because in my mind we shouldn’t default to “remove unless we approve it”. I knew who Zoe Quinn was so it was intriguing to hear about. I took some time aside from my duties in the modqueue (where all reports, user-made or through filters, are placed) and gave the post a read. I figured I’d be able to read it, approve or remove, and go to sleep. That didn’t happen. I’m a very fast reader so it wasn’t long before I was back in the saddle and deciding on whether or not to allow it. On one hand it had some personally identifiable information (real names), but on the other these were all public figures. It could incite a witch hunt, but we’ve allowed similar and worse content in the past without a problem. I decided to not remove it based on what it may do, but instead allow it and keep an eye on it to find out what would happen. I also questioned why, when looking at our Automoderator configuration, the text “Zoe Quinn” was automatically being removed from the subreddit. This lead to an argument with our primary night moderator, who I will refer to as N.

N being Australian, I really should’ve expected that he’d be awake. I didn’t expect him to argue with me about it, though. I wanted to keep it up because we don’t (or shouldn’t, at least) default to removing things that don’t specifically break our rules. He wanted to remove it because of a few different reasons. His reasoning changed each time I shot one down. A short list that I can see in my logs, direct quotes: “it’s utterly stupid bullshit”, “who cares who slept with who”, “it has no relation to games whatsoever”, “there’s also no evidence of anything that’s been said”, “no news outlet has covered it”, “because there’s no proof of anything”, “it’s just drama for the sake of drama”, “there’s no real discussion”, “I don’t think that fucking garbage belongs on any decent sub”, and my personal favorite, “no”. That’s from one single page (screen size) of IRC logs on a 1080p screen. That’s about 50-55 lines of text. The conversation effectively ended when, a minute later, I told them that he shouldn’t insult his own users and he called the people of /r/Games “fuckwits”. This argument started on August 18th at 9:42 AM EST, and ended at 10:08 AM after N denied banning anyone and stopped replying to my messages.

But wait, there’s more! At about 2PM the argument started up again after a dozen or so confused modmails, several posts, and many many bans had happened. Admins were angry, mods were angry, users were angry, everyone was angry. The argument started up with another mod this time, who I’ll refer to as F. It was somewhat civil until the crazy got dialed up to eleven. F stated that we should remove all talk of it until Kotaku or someone else big like them wrote their article about the drama. I didn’t believe this would happen as Zoe clearly had ties to major publications, and whoever posted that article would be in a world of hurt career-wise. This is when the Jews got brought up. I wish I was kidding. I had said that a Kotaku writer who posts such an article would have many complaints, probably from Jezebel readers at their sister website, claiming that Kotaku is full of misogynists who are slut shaming poor Zoe Quinn. Of course, this made me a Nazi. Literally. I’m not sure, it’s all very confusing for me. Anyway, the conversation started to break down when I replied to him with the following: “Honestly, I don’t even know why I’m doing this. It’s not up to me and [Redacted] to defend allowing it. It’s up to you to show that it must be banned. Innocent until proven guilty and all that good stuff.” It got silent for a bit after that, as far as this subject goes.

After a bit of time, at 4:40PM or so, the drama still hadn’t calmed down. I didn’t expect it to but my colleagues thought it’d die by the next day. I provided a suggestion in order to appease the users of /r/Games who didn’t really care, the people who wanted to talk about it, and get the people yelling for our heads off our backs. I would submit the drama myself with a very neutral headline and would moderate it heavily to make absolutely sure no doxing or witch hunting was going on. This didn’t sit well with F, who said we should wait until someone posts it and moderate that one. Doesn’t matter so long as the content is up, so that was fine by me. Someone posted it a few minutes later, and F removed it within a few minutes citing vote cheating. An admin, D, replied with this: “pretty much all the votes on it came in before it was removed … there’s maybe 1 after”. The post wasn’t reapproved.

Immediately after, another argument happened right on top of the previous one, at 4:56PM. F wanted to take over PR duties from me. I said no, perhaps much too bluntly, telling him that he’d been flipping out on people all day and was clearly not in a position to be handling such a delicate matter. I made a judgment call and decided to post it myself as a self post. Seconds before hitting the submit button, someone else submitted it. It was removed a minute later. I approved it. It was removed again for being irrelevant to gaming because of the bad title. The title was pretty bad though, which is exactly why I should have posted it. It got reposted with a better title, but the title then included “[Repost]”, which is against our rules. We had to remove it again and I told the guy to scratch that bit and repost it. Dumb situation overall.

Everything changed when, at 5:34 PM, I opened my inbox to find a PM from Zoe Quinn sitting there. I immediately took a picture of it and uploaded it to puush, then posted it in the IRC at about the same time as I finished reading it. In the same line I pinged the mods F and Del, as well as the admin D. Remember this picture, because it’ll come up again later. At first I started writing a reply about how we respected her opinion as a long-time user of /r/Games as well as respected her privacy and whatnot, but being that it’s related to gaming we were going to continue allowing it on the subject of gaming journalism. That is, until the admin D weighed in. He stated that since TheZoePost didn’t claim, as he read it, that Zoe specifically gave sex in exchange for positive reviews, it’s no longer relevant to gamers or gaming and shouldn’t be allowed. F then stated he’d tell Zoe this and agree himself, which would be a PR nightmare because he’s not exactly good at it. I told him not to around the same time that the admin, D, suggested we create /r/GamingDrama, “where shit like this and whatever bullshit TB spouted this week and so on can live” (direct quote). This had been brought up before by a few other moderators and will be brought up again. F and D came to the conclusion that it’s not relevant and should be banned from the sub. I decided to do my job and deliver this message to Zoe despite my disagreements, as F doing so would be bad for our public image.

Since we started banning discussion of it, a lot of posts started being removed for vote manipulation or brigading. Supposedly lots of alternate accounts being used to upvote posts quickly. I can’t confirm or deny that since only admins can see such data. Zoe sent me a PM at 5:50 PM (or so) thanking me for removing the threads, and another user sent me a PM at the exact same time thanking me for allowing the threads. This confused me and I decided to just take my ball and go home. I had successfully appealed to both sides and stopped the witch hunt against us. I could relax, and provided nobody did anything else we would’ve been in the clear. All would be well. I made a quick joke about how well this had all gone for us (relatively), as if it was all going to go “absolutely fucking bananas”. I was right. I had decided to relax for about an hour and watched Top Gear in that time.

When I got back, N was praising D for banning the discussion and they were all talking about Zoe’s nudeness. I made a quick joke about A Game of Thrones because I was a bit uncomfortable at the time. N stated that he pays for porn, and I called him a Rockefeller and suggested that he could even afford a bread. Us peasants have to make due with crumbs. F started fanboying over Dan Stapleton for a bit,  then we talked badly about The Sims 4’s lack of review copies, then our 500,000 user milestone, and then I got off and tried to sleep. I failed. I ended up sitting on the computer all night watching Top Gear. It makes me feel British, if only for an hour.

When I decided to log back into IRC at 5:11 AM on August 19th, I discovered that someone had fucked up hard and the world went insane. Mod Fi started talking about me needing to placate “the hoards of angry moutbreathers screaming censorship” [sic]. I decided to make a post addressing it, and F told me to say that Nathan Grayson had never written about Zoe Quinn, so as to try and kill the accusations. I said that he did and that I had seen the articles. I decided to just start writing and stop listening. Around this time TotalBiscuit tweeted about the censorship and situation. The others were concerned that he would make a video calling us out specifically but I doubted it would happen. I would’ve welcomed it if it had, since TotalBiscuit is a giant force for change in the industry and him calling us out for censorship would mean I could have had more free reign to be transparent as I wished. Sadly he didn’t, though I can’t blame him.

F again asked me to lie and say that Nathan Grayson never wrote about Zoe or Depression Quest. I mostly just ignored him. He started comparing anti-SJW posters to Nazis, and P and N talked about shadowbanning users. This went on for a short bit. TotalBiscuit posted a video about Mountain, some shitty artsy “game”. It was an unlisted video for twitter followers, meant as a joke, but people kept posting it to /r/Games. It got removed and we talked about that for a while. I ate breakfast at 9:40 AM, and that might’ve been the last meal I had for quite a while. I had strawberry oatmeal. It was lackluster. Enough about food. The other mods started talking about Wizardchan. In the words of one of them, it’s an imageboard for male virgins. Never been there, can’t confirm or deny. After a while, at 11 AM, the conversation came back to the drama. Someone was going around telling people to message an admin, Da, asking him to remove the /r/Gaming mod El. N messaged the admin Ocr and pinged D in order to get him shadowbanned. I finally got off my Top Gear-watching ass and started writing our stickied thread. N nodded respectfully toward me at this.

The original plan was to put up a sticky about it and moderate it regularly. N suggested we lock the thread as soon as it was posted. Locking a thread through Automoderator means that every comment is deleted immediately upon being posted (besides mods and admins). This is what ended up happening. This was going to take someone far greater than I to justify so I said nothing and tried to work on other bits of propaganda that we’d need. Channeling the power of Goebbels I set off writing. N started boasting about getting people shadowbanned again, this time the shadowbans being done by admin Cu. N removed a few more threads but I was too busy writing to notice. I posted the stickied thread at 11:51 AM or so, locking the thread as N requested. Jokes about me sleeping with Zoe happened. N stated that I should’ve said that the journalists in question didn’t write anything about Zoe or Depression Quest, and even if they had it didn’t matter. I posted a link showing it did happen, but that wasn’t good enough. T, N, and No (No was no longer a moderator, but still had access to the mod room. He left because he was tired of yelling at people who didn’t like SJW viewpoints.) had a discussion about how people disliking Zoe were insane, performing mental gymnastics, compared them to the Boston Bombers, lots of “poor zoe”, etc. I didn’t care since I got gilded for my post, which is the ultimate way of saying that my writing is good. I love it when my writing is praised so I was pretty happy. A few comments about users being immature, angry, and thoughtless later…

We got off the drama for a short second because we got PM’d by someone asking us to take down some thread because it broke BioWare’s NDA policy. I never cared for the NDA policies since we didn’t sign them and had no reason to remove them. So we said no. Admin D showed up to thank me for the post I’d written and had a joke about a user being banned for 5 months, still commenting and posting, but not knowing that he’d been banned. Good times. We then joked about me being Zoe Quinn in disguise, but my deep voice and penis betrayed me. We talked a bit about the admin Da. I have always been of the opinion that inactive mods, admin or medical issues or whatever, should be removed until they’re ready to continue moderating. If I’d convinced D to do this prior we wouldn’t have had such a rough time. No called Zoe’s ex-boyfriend insane, and then we started talking about how great of a restaurant Five Guys is. It’s honestly amazing and I hear they added milkshakes, so they’re 10/10 in my book.

At 3:44 PM Stephen Totilo started tweeting about it. This was a big event for us. Totilo has some history with us (we would talk periodically on the subject of Kotaku’s status on /r/Games), and the others called him some nasty things over the many months we were involved with him. I always thought he was just really dedicated to his job. I respect dedication. Nothing interesting was said until 4:22 PM, when No and Te started talking about how Zoe’s ex-boyfriend has paranoia issues. Fo sent a large list of usernames to the admins for shadowbanning at 5:19 PM, and called the entire drama garbage, saying that the users (“crazies”) will die down in a few days. That ends August 19th.

I got on to Ph and N joking about the Gamergate people at 4:18 AM, which lasted until 5:14 AM (off and on). This left me with Ph, T, Fo, P, and N as they linked to twitter profiles and talked about who they would have sex with. Apparently it was an /r/Games user. D, N, and I had a brief talk on /r/Gaming and /r/Games, as well as defaults and a few private subreddits. Nothing terribly interesting. At 4:57 PM, Pi noticed that Automoderator was removed a lot more than it should be, and this was because of N’s latest condition where his regex removed any of the characters appearing in “[citation needed]” from all posts and comments. This is because he forgot to escape his brackets. About 99%+ of everything was removed for 2-3 hours. Pi listed a bunch of threads he removed at 5:24 PM and I declared “not it” on going through the modlog and approving all the things N removed. He had to do it. Makes sense. At 5:49 PM, a submission about TotalBiscuit being under attack was posted. It got 34 votes in 8 minutes before it was removed by F. D said he didn’t see any source of votes and that the votes are coming from regular /r/Games users. It didn’t get approved. So ends August 20th.

On August 21st, just after midnight at 12:02 AM, I noticed a post containing information on various people. In it, under a folder called “censorship”, was a picture of N telling someone that if he posted or talked about Zoe he’d ban them. I notified N, and immediately after, Zoe’s ex-boyfriend (from TheZoePost) sent us a modmail. I decided to handle it rather than let N do so. He wanted to do an AMA on /r/Games explaining everything, as well as clarifying some information of some sort. Our position had been made clear yesterday and I knew what D would say, so I told him no and suggested he try another subreddit. I followed up with another reply minutes after saying that while he can’t do an AMA we also can’t stop him from commenting as a regular user. I was hoping he’d do so, but I don’t believe he did.

Nothing else happened until 2:44 PM when more threads were getting posted and more people were getting banned. Someone posted the TFYC project in /r/Games, which we immediately removed. N’s reasoning for removing it was on the basis of it being a TFYC project. My reasoning was that I was told that’s what we were doing, and so I did that. Either way it got removed and the poster ended up shadowbanned. Someone sent us a modmail about us removing comments. Shadowbanned. There was a thread about it with 14 comments. 14 commenters shadowbanned. Here’s a quote from N: “everyone in there is shadowbanned every single one bwhahahahahaha 14 in one swoop”. He started talking about how it was a 4chan raid, but I mentioned that I checked /v/, /b/, and /pol/ and didn’t find any mention of our subreddit. Admin Cu said it was 4chan though, so it must be 4chan. I took a short break at 3:04 PM to watch the co-optional podcast since I figured they might talk about it. They didn’t. It was still entertaining though. Apparently nothing happened for the rest of the day, so that ends August 21st.

On August 22nd at 4:57 AM I had got back on IRC to N questioning a reply to a modmail. Someone had asked about a removed thread though I wasn’t sure which one, since many threads got removed that morning. There were two in my mind: a self post asking about what happened and discussing the ramifications of Phil Fish’s leak, and the other linking to the website itself. Both were removed. I told the guy in modmail that I wished I could’ve kept the first post up, which N had a problem with. We had another self post up saying the same thing as the first but was much more sympathetic toward Phil Fish, and that stayed up but was monitored heavily by N, according to him. A few hours before 5 AM he apparently reported the pastebin, but it stayed up and he got angry about this. Not much happened except complaining until 6:32 AM. At that point I decided that since Dacvak was still getting a large amount of harassment, I’d take a picture of our mod log showing that he’s done nothing in months. In the same sentence that I stated I did this I shared the picture in the channel and explained it. Remember this picture too as it’ll come up again later. Nothing much happened for a while. At 10:12 AM there was a brief discussion between N and F about how stupid the people doubting Phil Fish are.

At 11:30 AM I made a joke about how my existence as a mod keeps the world from destroying itself, and that if I left the sub would descend into chaos. Nostradamus.gif. This isn’t important but I found it funny. Shortly after someone made a comment doubting our credibility due to the mass deletions. It got deleted, and Del, T, and Pi made fun of him. I voiced my concerns, saying: “I’m concerned about our credibility, y’know. You guys just remove stuff. When shit happens I gotta deal with people asking me questions. Which is usually good since we’re great, but this is pushing it.” This didn’t go over well. Leading me to my second big argument with N at 11:46 AM.

N was very active in the Phil Fish thread, trying his best to make people believe Fish. I told him that “we shouldn’t be getting involved in this”, because “we’re supposed to be neutral and we can’t do that if we’re involved”. N again said that he had no agenda or biases, and that he didn’t even like Fez. We stopped talking about it for a while so that the others could make fun of Phil Fish’s name, then back to business. N tried to justify his actions by saying that he technically only distinguished the official mod comments, so as a user he’s within his rights to say whatever. Also, he technically never took a stance saying that Fish didn’t do it to himself, only that it’s stupid and super likely that it didn’t happen. He’s technically correct: he didn’t outright say that Fish didn’t do it. He just spent several hours making fun of people who thought that in private.

At 12:39 PM we got a post unrelated to the drama, but interesting to hear about nonetheless. It was an average, insightful self post that would normally be allowed. However, it contained the words “(x-post /r/Gaming4Gamers)”. /r/Gaming4Gamers is a subreddit that was once involved with its own slew of problems but has since taken up different leadership and ideas and has become a middle ground between /r/Gaming and /r/Games. D, the admin that originally busted the subreddit, has had a hard on for it ever since and could drool at the idea of finally catching them in the act of breaking rules and banning them. On /r/Games, at least so long as he breathes air, /r/Gaming4Gamers will not be mentioned (unless I silently approved something). Or maybe they’ll allow it after this to try and make me look bad. Who knows? Anyway, I had to tell the OP to take out any mention of the subreddit using some bullshit lie about how we don’t like cross promotion. Not half an hour later I told another guy in modmail that he was free to promote his subreddit the same way. Funny how that works. I didn’t like it since Gaming4Gamers is actually a pretty nice subreddit, but a job’s a job.

We talked a bit about people in modmail asking about corruption and oppression, then a talk on autism, then keyboards, then back to Phil Fish. Fo talked about shadowbanning (using automoderator) 3 people in 2 minutes. Then, Del stated that he wants to talk about video games but instead got “this dumb drama”. This is where another important bit comes in. To preserve formatting and save myself some time, here’s a snippet of the IRC directly (names still edited).

Aug 22 13:54:17     I think D suggested that someone needs to create /r/GamingDrama or something, and we can push all of this stuff there.
Aug 22 13:55:03     I’m not a huge fan of subreddit consolidation
Aug 22 13:55:37     And if we were to push things to its own subreddit someone would have to make sure it was high quality
Aug 22 13:55:51     It seems dumb to push things to a lower quality subreddit just because we don’t want to deal with it
Aug 22 14:00:30 <N>    Del, I think the idea was just that
Aug 22 14:00:36 <N>    so we have an excuse to just remove it from /r/games. :P

Remember this? Well, keep it in your mind. It comes up later. At the time I was watching TV (more Top Gear) and wasn’t paying attention. I got pinged a few minutes later at 2:02 PM asking my opinion of it. I said this: “I don’t see a problem with keeping drama in /r/Games so long as we moderate it. So long as it’s related to gaming in some way and we moderate it, I say we’re fine.” Fo stated that drama is “such a PITA” (pain in the ass), and I replied that so is the rest of our job. Then, at 2:57 PM, shit started going down. I brought up the PM sent to me by Zoe Quinn, which I had immediately linked to the others, and asked if they remembered it. N stated that he had no memory of it, nor what it might have said. I said that the same picture I’d put in that mod chat had been posted by someone else on Twitter. N brought up that I should set my puush to private and walked me through the steps to do that. He asked if it could be traced back to me, and I said that it could since whoever took it must know where he got it from. He told me to delete all of my publish puush uploads just in case, which I did. I kept local copies of the important stuff but a lot of smash bros screenshots were lost. I followed the person leaking it on twitter to see if he’d post anything else. We spent a bit going over what the tweets said, about N’s chats with the admins, and whether or not those chats were incriminating. This all lasted about an hour. Not much else happened on that day, so that ends August 22nd.

Part 2 of this should go up at some point within the next week depending on how lazy I become. If you’re dying to know something then leave a comment and I’ll get back to you. That, or tweet at me @XavierMendel.

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February 2nd, 2014

Overgrowth, my latest love. Overgrowth is by far the world’s greatest kung-fu rabbit combat simulator of the 21st century, not because you can be a rabbit that throws swords at wolves, but because you’ve got the tools to expand that to any number of sword-throwing scenarios. Overgrowth features a built-in editor that will let you customize the world in limitless ways as evidenced by the very active modding scene around the game. I played on a map that had floating islands, and one that was like something out of WarioWare. Was it nice? Yes. Did I drool a little? Yes. Was it the funnest thing since that-other-thing? Yes. But enough about mods, let’s talk base game, Wolfire, and rabbits.

Overgrowth is made by Wolfire Games, a small indie developer with a passion for rabbiting, and who you may have seen doing an AMA recently. They seem to like kung-fu and weren’t pleased with neither the kung nor fu levels found in other engines, so they made their own. Sporting the best blood system since Teh Day of all Teh Blod, Overgrowth really gives you that visceral feeling of punching animals. Don’t feel bad. Most of them are jerks. Primarily though Overgrowth is a third person adventure/fighting game where you control a rabbit and fight other animals, such as wolves, dogs, cats, and weird rabbit robots (rabbots). Seems great right? Well it will be. Overgrowth is currently in an alpha stage and though it is shaping up nicely with lots of updates it is still far from its final destination. I like buying into early access games because I like watching them evolve as I play and learning the game over time before its full release. If you’re the same way, Overgrowth is for you. If you expect a finished and polished game when you buy it, Overgrowth isn’t for you yet. Maybe wait a year and try again.

What more is there to say, really? I could tell you that I played a mission where I was a robot with four swords being chased by a huge mob of wolves around a desolate city and escaped by throwing my swords at their faces and using the bought time to do crazy parkour. I could tell you that I had an intense battle to the death thousands of feet off the ground on a floating platform, again and again until the A.I learned enough to finally best me. I could tell you that I climbed a massive structure to jump on an egg, only to miss my jump and fall to my death at record breaking (and rabbit breaking) speeds. Would that do it for you? Cause that would do it for me. That would do it for me in so many ways.

While we’re on the subject of Wolfire, they have another game I like. It’s older, but you get it for free when you buy Overgrowth so I might as well say something. That’s right, Receiver. Receiver is a first person shooter that takes a single mechanic (the gun) and tosses it into a cocaine volcano (Cocaino?). Everything is manual with this game. You grab the magazine, load it into the slot, pull back the slider, toggle auto, pull back lever, and then you can fire. I know how to handle a gun, but actually handling the thing is easier than this. They say it’s a shooter but in my experience it’s more of a horror game. The only two enemies I can find are turrets and hardcore Magnemite reboots. One sits there and shoots bullets at you, the other flies at you and shocks you on contact. One hit from either and you’re dead, but a well placed hit on them has the same effect. You have to collect audio tapes to advance the story, finding them through a seemingly randomly generated world. The problems start when you run out of ammo, as is the case in most games. Finding ammo is difficult, and if you come to an enemy without ammo you’re as good as dead. Receiver teaches patience, ammo conservation, and the ability to yell really loudly over things that other games do automatically for you. It makes me wonder what playing other games with the same mechanic would be like. What if in Half Life before climbing up into the Houndeye cage room you had to unload spent casings from your revolver? It’d make for an entirely different game.

I want more games like Receiver. Not just with the gun mechanics but with mechanics that change how we view the basics that we take for granted. I mean, I also want more of Receiver itself of course. More guns, more enemies, more stuff, more Receiver. This game was made in 7 days and it already in my top 100 games of all time (nonexistent list). I’d be astounded with what they could do with a month or two. Wolfire’s a company to keep your eye out for, even if you’re not a fan of rabbits or guns. Then again, how else could you spend an afternoon?

Overgrowth is available from the Humble Store for $29.95 and from Steam for $29.99.

Receiver is available from the Humble Store for $4.99 and from Steam for the same price.

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August 30th, 2013

Press A to Jump

There are some things in gaming that we know. We move with the dpad. We jump with A. We fire with B, charging by holding. We can jump on the turtles and goombas, not the spineys. Pits and spikes are instant kills, but enemies aren’t. Hit the boss 3 times to win. Headshots are an instant kill too, but only with sniper rifles. Where did this knowledge come from? I wasn’t born with it. I didn’t come out of the womb knowing that Level 1-2 has warp pipes hidden above the exit. I didn’t know how to charge the megabuster while I was an infant. I learned it by playing video games, obviously.

My first video game was Super Mario Brothers for the Nintendo Entertainment System. I went in not knowing what a controller was or who this Mario character was trying to rescue. All I knew was that it was the funnest thing I’d ever played in my life. Fuck hopscotch, fuck basketball, fuck cops and robbers. Mario is where it’s at. I went in knowing nothing, but I came out of that game knowing a lot. Jump into the bricks, mushrooms are good, fuck hammer bros., the higher the flagpole landing the higher the score, don’t let the timer run out, and the music gets faster when it does. I did this all by playing a few hours of Super Mario. But what’s more is that I learned problem solving. Don’t jump over the broken up single blocks, just run over them. If you can’t jump on the piranha plants, throw the fireballs at them. If the jump is too hard, it might be because you’re supposed to take the higher path. The hammer brothers don’t die easily, run past them. Before I had played Super Mario Bros I was a dumbass. A kid without a whole lot going in terms of not sucking at everything. Hell, I couldn’t even read. It gave me knowledge I didn’t have before.

If we skip ahead some years we arrive with Tetris, my first puzzle game. Tetris remains one of my favorite games of all time. I’ve never stopped loving the classics, and near the top sits this timeless Russian beast. My problem solving was basic at best, and my reaction times were slow. Tetris changed that. Tetris whipped my ass from a tractor in second gear to Super Schumacher 3. Not only did I have the knowledge of how to solve the problems I found in video games, I had the ability to do it fast enough now too. But those are just the bullet points under the following example.

Portal. You’ve played Portal before, haven’t you? I thought so. When you play Portal you know exactly what to do each time you see a new puzzle, even if it takes some time to figure it out. You know that blue and orange portals go into each other, you jump with Space, move with WASD, fire with the mouse buttons, and take action with E. You know there’s an exit and that everything you see in the level is there for a reason: To get you to that exit. You know that the problem can always be solved; nothing is impossible, it just requires a new way of thinking. Most importantly, you know that you can do it. But where do we know this from? Games, of course. Climbing the cavern edges in Tomb Raider, balancing on the edges in Monkey Ball, searching the walls in Doom… They’re all just ways of solving a problem, and we’re as accustomed to doing it as we’re accustomed to cooking hot pockets. Portal presents you with a problem that you can solve. You’ve got all the tools, you’ve got the right mind, and already you’re churning out ways to solve it. Your knowledge is put to use every second. Every white wall, every black wall, every platform, everything is factored into your analysis. You’re a lean, mean, gaming machine.

But are you really? Well, to answer my own question I’d need to compare myself to you, which obviously won’t go so well. When I solve a puzzle I start by eliminating impossible paths until only one remains, which must be the correct one. I’ve seen others go about it differently, ranging from trying everything to trying the same thing over and over again. What’s the difference? I know more about video games than a lot of people. I’ve spent a lot of my life playing them and know how the act goes. For someone who is new to gaming, this is all foreign and strange. They don’t know instinctively that A jumps. Imagine how difficult it would be to play games nowadays like that. When I put in the new Halo game I had already played over a thousand hours of Halo in the past. I knew that RT used your weapon and LT threw grenades. I knew that B was melee and X was reload. I’d know that without a tutorial, and if they dropped me into any level in the game I’d know what to do or could figure it out in no time. If you dropped my aunt into the same situation she’d likely put the controller down and walk away from frustration. She wouldn’t know what to do at all. And there, on a late schedule, arrives my point:

We learned video games, but newer players need tutorials. I’m a child of a time where video games were just starting to pick up steam. I was born into a golden era of gaming, where I played the 2600 and NES, and had great stuff on the horizon. Mario, Zelda, Final Fantasy, Castlevania, Metroid… Newer gamers didn’t have that. They didn’t grow up playing what we now call the classics. They don’t know what it’s like to open the box around a cartridge, pop it in, and play an entirely new game that had never been done before. They don’t have the experience. They need tutorials. I see people complaining about tutorials everywhere, saying that they know how to play and don’t need them. That they’re a waste of time both for the player and developers. I hope this adds some perspective to those people. For the developers, listen, because I’ve got a simple solution.

At the beginning of a game, start with a tutorial. Have a simple prompt saying “If you wish to skip the tutorial, press Start and select Skip Tutorial.” Then, at the main menu of the game, add an option to replay the tutorial. There, everyone’s happy. People who need the tutorial get it, and people who don’t want to play through it can skip it with two button presses.

Gaming teaches you things that most people nowadays don’t have, but it doesn’t teach you empathy. Or sex-ed. Just remember: Not everyone is like you. Some people need a little explaining.

As always, thanks for reading.

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